fortune on the installment plan

My neighborhood fortune teller didn’t discuss payment options for my $200 aura cleansing. All she said was if I start having good luck, I could come by and pay her the $200 fee if and when good things started happening. Don’t think I didn’t take note of the “if.” That was Friday. Today is Monday. So far, two very good things have happened. One she predicted outright with astonishing specificity. I’m wondering if I should pay her on the installment plan. I could slip her a $20 now and then, when something felt like it might be connected to her powers. If I use that standard, I already owe her $40.

I woke up this morning and felt myself up. I thought I felt a lump on the fold of my right breast. I’m always in the throes of one cancer scare or another. I’ve suspected skin cancer, breast cancer, lung cancer, brain cancer, cancer of the tongue, cancer of the buttock, cancer of the sinuses. That is not a complete list. My body is a wonderland alright, of cancer scares. I have a lump in my upper thigh right now. It feels hard, like a pearl. I know I should have it checked. And I will.

I will also have my annual mammogram after the holidays. I pledged as much, and entered a sweeps that FUJIifilm and the National Breast Cancer Foundation, along with Linen & Things, are sponsoring in conjunction with a campaign to sign up One Million Moms for Mammograms. That’s a misnomer, since they want all women over 40 to sign up. Anyone 21 or older can enter the sweeps. The winner has a choice of three nights at Canyon Ranch in Tucson or six nights at La Costa Resort & Spa in San Diego.

To enter, click HERE. The deadline is December 31.